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Bollywood: The Greatest Love Story ever told..but does true love really exist?

In bollywood, chicago, dating, desis, divorcees, indian, indian singles, love, marriage, shaadi, singles, soiuth asians, speed dating, weddings, What's happening?!? on September 4, 2011 at 8:15 pm

The question of whether true love really exists cannot be answered without first clarifying what true love really is. However, the concept of “true love” has already absorbed so many qualities from filmy ishtyle bollywood that it can no longer be approached with any objectivity. Trying to consider true love freshly at this point would be like trying to taste the finest wine while you are eating a samosa.

The image that comes to mind when someone mentions true love in bollywood terms is of two good-looking individuals with amazing physiques who are fatefully drawn to each other and ready to risk their families, their respect, their honor, and definitely their lives for the other person’s sake – in essence, Veeru and Basanti from Sholay, or Simran and Raj from DDLJ. Despite the prevalence of this perception, such a perfect couple hardly ever exists!  I have never actually witnessed such a perfect relationship in real life. The closest thing I can think of is something I term “pure love”: love that contains the boundless excitement that only a child can really experience.  I see this look in my daughter’s eyes at times when she really (I mean, REALLY) wants something and I get it for her or if she’s scared and I comfort her.. but have never seen it otherwise.

Pure love happens to some people many times, to others only once, and to still others not at all. The ability to experience pure love depends upon the strength of your idealism. You are more likely to feel it if you are a solah-saal girl who believes in that “Raj, naam tho sunah hoga” type guy, and less likely if you are the kill-joy types, like a “Mogambo kush hua” types who rejoices and celebrates other people’s misfortunes.  However, no matter how old you are, you can experience pure love if you suspend your adult feelings for a while and allow yourself to be completely vulnerable.

Are us highly emotionally charged “Mere Paas Maa Hain” Mango people really ready to give it all up for love?  I know I wouldn’t.  I don’t desi guy listening to his Ipod next to me here at Starbucks would either.  The need for sacrifices and compromises is often showcased in every Bollywood flick where love is frequently described as involving sacrifices and resisting compromises. In reality, the situation is typically the opposite-relationships require fewer sacrifices and more compromises.

Bolly flicks often show that compromises are loaded with intense emotional aspects and are harder to bear, as they involve unfinished business that could alter the existing situation. While, sacrifices on the other hand, deal with actual and concrete actions. Like other actions, their consequences can be positive or negative.  When compromising, you give up something that you want and might in fact attain; when sacrificing, you give up something that you actually have.  But, is this true love?  Are us emotionally charged brown population ready to do all of this?

This might be the glass half empty approach, but, in most cases the bollywood romance is often far from reality.  It shows that as a population we often tend to romanticize (to say the least) our love and our loved ones often leading to disappointment.  It shows that “true love” always wins in the end, no matter what.  Is that really a healthy approach?  Does that leave us tanned folk, more disappointment in the end?

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What do us Desi Women really (REALLY) Want? I mean, Really! (via FUSION 4 Event Productions)

In Uncategorized on August 27, 2011 at 4:30 am

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Have you ever wondered how some people seem to excel at socializing with women?  Imagine how much simpler your life would be if you could rid yourself of nagging self-doubt and have confidence knowing you can handle any situation with a woman….  Just imagine!  Well, to get to this point you have to know what a woman wants.  No, the answer is not shoes.. well, it is, but not from a man… Besides the meaning of life and how exactly can he get the ne … Read More

via FUSION 4 Event Productions

What do us Desi Women really (REALLY) Want? I mean, Really!

In bollywood, dating, desis, divorcees, indian, indian singles, marriage, shaadi, singles, speed dating, weddings, What's happening?!? on August 27, 2011 at 4:25 am

Have you ever wondered how some people seem to excel at socializing with women?  Imagine how much simpler your life would be if you could rid yourself of nagging self-doubt and have confidence knowing you can handle any situation with a woman….  Just imagine!  Well, to get to this point you have to know what a woman wants.  No, the answer is not shoes.. well, it is, but not from a man…
Besides the meaning of life and how exactly can he get the next promotion, many a man has questioned “what exactly do women want?”  We’re not playing coy here, we know we’re complex creatures. And, true, we operate on a different wavelength than men, actually, on a whole different planet altogether.
So, we’re different. Way different.  But, woman aren’t exactly the great mystery that men often make us out to be.  The proof?  Well, as the author of this article—a woman, I will let you know exactly what I want.  And, yes, the ladies will agree, I speak for the masses.  Besides wanting diamonds, we are pretty simple.  I promise.
It’s simple.  We want respect, as much or even more than you do. Show us through your actions that you respect our opinions, careers, interests, friends, bodies and minds. You don’t have to agree with all that we say or do, but try to honor our opinions as valuable contributions.  Some of us brown ladies may have dyed our hair blonde, but it doesn’t mean that you think we think like one!  Follow the golden rule and treat us as you would like to be treated: Be honest, fair, kind, and considerate…and yes, we expect you to call us.
Sex. Yes, we love sex—and, lots of it.  India wouldn’t be a population of 1.2 billion if us brown ladies didn’t like what you had to offer, C’mon, think about it.  But, remember that there are four bases to cover in the bedroom, not just one. Try stopping at each base instead of being so focused on the home run—believe us, we’ll thank you for it! One can never, ever, have too many shoulder rubs and foot massages are pretty great, too. We love it when you hug us from behind and whisper in our ear…and by the way, we get turned on simply seeing that we have an e-mail from you.  It doesn’t take much, really!
Well, for all you men out there that are the “good guys” and can handle the above two requests of respect and sex…Here are some skills that us ladies don’t just want but REQUIRE in a changa munda.  Read on.
We need social skills.  Shall we say it again?  Two words.  Social Skills!  Awareness of your own interaction with other people is the first step in improving your social skills.  It is super important to learn to identify which types of situations make you uncomfortable and then modify your behavior to achieve positive results is a critical step in improving your social skills.  .
Guys, you must accept responsibility for your own behavior and do not fear apologizing for errors in judgment or insensitive actions.  Please don’t think that your non-verbal communication is not equally as important as the things that you say. Positive body language is extremely important in your interactions with us brown babes.  If your words and your actions do not match, you will have a difficult time succeeding in dating us after date one.
Now, how can you Desi men (and yes, IT Professionals in particular) improve your social skills?  You must become a great listener. You must fight the urge to respond immediately and really listen to what the other person is trying to communicate.  Maximize your positive personality traits and use them in your interactions with us ladies. Good communication and great listening skills are the most important tools you can use in improving your social skills and will give you mad props in our minds.
So.. yes, the genie has been let out of the bottle.  Our three wishes are respect, sex, and social skills.  Can you men deliver?  We shall find out!  Till then.. toodles!