The question of whether true love really exists cannot be answered without first clarifying what true love really is. However, the concept of “true love” has already absorbed so many qualities from filmy ishtyle bollywood that it can no longer be approached with any objectivity. Trying to consider true love freshly at this point would be like trying to taste the finest wine while you are eating a samosa.
The image that comes to mind when someone mentions true love in bollywood terms is of two good-looking individuals with amazing physiques who are fatefully drawn to each other and ready to risk their families, their respect, their honor, and definitely their lives for the other person’s sake – in essence, Veeru and Basanti from Sholay, or Simran and Raj from DDLJ. Despite the prevalence of this perception, such a perfect couple hardly ever exists! I have never actually witnessed such a perfect relationship in real life. The closest thing I can think of is something I term “pure love”: love that contains the boundless excitement that only a child can really experience. I see this look in my daughter’s eyes at times when she really (I mean, REALLY) wants something and I get it for her or if she’s scared and I comfort her.. but have never seen it otherwise.
Pure love happens to some people many times, to others only once, and to still others not at all. The ability to experience pure love depends upon the strength of your idealism. You are more likely to feel it if you are a solah-saal girl who believes in that “Raj, naam tho sunah hoga” type guy, and less likely if you are the kill-joy types, like a “Mogambo kush hua” types who rejoices and celebrates other people’s misfortunes. However, no matter how old you are, you can experience pure love if you suspend your adult feelings for a while and allow yourself to be completely vulnerable.
Are us highly emotionally charged “Mere Paas Maa Hain” Mango people really ready to give it all up for love? I know I wouldn’t. I don’t desi guy listening to his Ipod next to me here at Starbucks would either. The need for sacrifices and compromises is often showcased in every Bollywood flick where love is frequently described as involving sacrifices and resisting compromises. In reality, the situation is typically the opposite-relationships require fewer sacrifices and more compromises.
Bolly flicks often show that compromises are loaded with intense emotional aspects and are harder to bear, as they involve unfinished business that could alter the existing situation. While, sacrifices on the other hand, deal with actual and concrete actions. Like other actions, their consequences can be positive or negative. When compromising, you give up something that you want and might in fact attain; when sacrificing, you give up something that you actually have. But, is this true love? Are us emotionally charged brown population ready to do all of this?
This might be the glass half empty approach, but, in most cases the bollywood romance is often far from reality. It shows that as a population we often tend to romanticize (to say the least) our love and our loved ones often leading to disappointment. It shows that “true love” always wins in the end, no matter what. Is that really a healthy approach? Does that leave us tanned folk, more disappointment in the end?